To My Mother & Father
I am sorry!
I am sorry for any and everything I have ever put you through. Any worry, any pain, anything at all. I now understand that you were doing your best and everything you did was because you loved me. I understand how little I understood and how unaware I was in my righteous tween, teen, and even early adulthood years. I now understand how clueless I was and, in many ways, still am. How the lenses and perspective I viewed the world through had no understanding of the pressures and challenges you faced as parents, as adults, as providers for both yourselves and your children. I now understand that you actually understood exactly what I was going through, based on your own experiences, as I stood on my pedestal of immense childhood wisdom thinking “they just don’t understand.”
The only differences between my early world and yours were wrapped in the music of the day, the technology of the day, and the culture of day. We view this “generation gap” of the cultures as immense and uncrossable when in reality it is quite small and only widened by the foggy perspectives of the two generations in question and their inability to lift the fog and see how we are both playing out the exact same passage on a slightly different stage.
I love you. I appreciate everything you have done for me. I appreciate every single action you took, knowingly or not to help me traverse the path from childhood to adulthood. Your every action was out of love, by love and for love because that is the fuel for this thing called life. You were and still are growing and traversing the precarious journey of life as you tried and continue to try to guide me as well. You only had and have the culmination of your experiences to guide you. Dependent on the book of law any one individual may adhere to they may judge some of your actions and condemn them as “wrong” when in the end there is no “wrong” in love. There is only action and every action can receive a positive reaction if one so chooses. I now understand that you loved me unconditionally and because of that I am a better person. Thank You.
To my children (to all children, to everyone)
I am sorry!
I am sorry for any and everything I have or will ever put you through. Any judgement, any pain, anything at all. Please understand that I am doing my best and everything I do is because I love you. Someday, you will understand how little you understood and how unaware you were in your righteous tween, teen, and even early adulthood years. I must understand how I was just the same at this point in the journey of life. The stage and supporting characters were slightly different but the passage was exactly the same. The lenses and perspective you view the world through have no understanding of the pressures and challenges faced by parents, by adults, by providers for both themselves and their children. As you sit there and think “they just don’t understand” – please consider that we have been down this same path on our own journey. Please – BE SKEPTICAL! The path has been worn since we last passed the milestone you are at. The creek we simply walked across may now have eroded to be a raging river that could sweep you away to unknown danger if you were to cross as we did. There are parts of this journey that are unique to you and we must be aware of that fact. But please also – LEARN TO LISTEN! We traveled this path and may just want you to take a different direction than we did because we love you and don’t want you to have to face the cliff up ahead that we encountered on our journey. Conversely, we have to be open to the fact that you may either enjoy the challenge of said cliff or it may not even exist anymore.
We live in a world of seven billion (7,000,000,000) souls and perspectives. Each of these perspectives are built on the accumulation of their (limited when considering the whole) experience and “knowledge.” None of them are either “right” or “wrong.” Unfortunately, (from my perspective which is neither right or wrong) this means you will face 1000’s or more of these 7,000,000,000 judges. Each of them trying to force their bias and perspective on the other 6,999,999,999 souls. Most are not trying to force their perspective out of tyrannical desires but actually out of love, corrupted and conditional love, but love nonetheless. Be skeptical, learn to listen, but never take their words personal. They are only one perspective out of 7,000,000,000. My intent is not to judge you, not to force my bias or perspective on you, not to make you follow my exact path. My intent is to guide you best I can by sharing my experiences which you can do with as you wish. Since I am just as fallible as the next and because I love you and worry about you it will most likely come out sounding like judgement and bias at times. Please know that my love for you is unconditional and I never mean to judge you and I will also never judge myself based on yours or anyone elses limited experience.
I love you. I appreciate everything about you. I know you are doing your best. Your every action will have a reaction which may be positive or negative depending on both yours as well as the perspective of anyone else involved. My hopes and wishes for you are that you find the awareness to always find the positive reaction to every action you are faced with.
Love always,
Your Son – Your Father – Your Friend – Your Fellow Soul
What’s your perspective? Who’s words have you used against yourself? Who might you enjoy apologizing to?
OK, my handwriting leaves a bit to be desired. Its a work in progress. Lined paper will help.
What’s your bias? Are you sharing or compelling?
The Journey Has Continued (albeit silently)
It has been over 5 months since I posted on JTC. The Journey as of late has been hectic, amazing, frustrating, wonderful, challenging, educational, and as always divine. Every journey, every person is divine in their own way (and own mind). In the end it has simply boiled down to priorities. It always does. There are only so many hours in a day and most of us have conflicting demands on those hours. I have been debating lately if this project has served its purpose. Is it time to officially discontinue this blog? Then I read the concept and all prior posts again. What an amazing impact the process has had on my achieving set goals, on my effort to maintain balance, on my journey to convergence. I need to continue with JTC with large hopes of helping others achieve the same success while at a minimum just keeping my progress and journey focused on that point of convergence. The point is infinite and not achievable, but the journey in that direction is the point.
HOW?
I have reaffirmed the “Why” behind continuing JTC. Now the question becomes “How”? How do I find the time to keep up with posting and sharing here when the list is already so long and stressful that my mind is swirling day in and day out. How do I commit to posting on a regular basis when 5 months have passed since my last post? I could give it a higher priority but that’s a little tough when I have to worry about priority #1, the other priority #1, and then there is that other priority #1. The plate is overflowing so how do I make room for this? What gets pushed off the plate to make room for posting?
In the past a post could easily consume 2+ hours of actual time spread across multiple days. Write, edit, re-write, edit, double think, edit, re-write, delete, start over…. Then there was the searching for a related picture to insert into the post. That can be eliminated for the most part. If a picture inspires a post then it can certainly be included but there is no real reason to expend precious time on the reverse, seeking a picture to align with a post. But there is still the writing….wait a minute….I write nearly every morning. I am a bit of an early bird. I start nearly every day thinking out loud in words in my journal. As of late its been a lot of “How the heck do I get this all done?” but it is part of the art working towards balance and convergence. I love the feel of pen to paper. I love the flow of the ink as I write the words. I enjoy it far more than typing onto a computer screen. All my previous posts have been written on paper before typed into the blog. That transition from paper to computer is where much of the edit, re-write, edit, double think, edit, rewrite, delete, start over comes into play. What if I just scan and post my morning writing? Efficiency and re-purposing of an existing activity to increase the value of that activity! LOVE IT! I’ll need a new journal where the pages are not bound but that’s an easy fix.
SO BE IT!
So the Journey continues. It has proven too valuable to me and my progress to not continue the art for my own benefit along with the hopes of my sharing possibly helping anyone else looking for balance and convergence. I am going to give the scanning process a shot. I can’t commit to how long or how often but its worth a try.
Feeling overwhelmed with too much to do and not enough time to do it? How do you balance your priorities and optimize your time?
LOOSE ENDS
“Loose Ends pierce and slash us attempting to convince us that the path is impassable.”
They are the true burden of the mind. We avoid and procrastinate when in the end whatever reasons we have for avoiding are just a fraction of the burden that the Loose Ends are on us.
We are all guilty of it at one time or another. The release of just taking a step and having control of some sort of forward motion is nothing short of wonderful.
Get it done! Get it off your mind and in a plan!
KNOW WHEN TO ROW AND WHEN TO FLOW. Even in a strong current there can be a potential and very possibly a NEED to steer.
ITS THAT TIME AGAIN
One of my first posts as I launched JTC roughly a year ago was about Chris Brogan’s recommendation to choose three words as guideposts for the upcoming year instead of the standard New Years resolutions. The idea of guideposts instead of hardfast resolutions resonated well with me and how I looked to structure my journey. Three words to guide my focus while utilizing the convergence targets to set goals beneath the umbrella of those three words.
Last year my three words were “borrowed” and thrown together fairly quickly but they still served me well as I considered where I wanted to go on this journey and the paths I wanted to explore. For 2012, I have been thinking long and hard about what my three words should be for nearly a month now and still go back and forth on them each morning as I consider what I want the guideposts for 2012 to be but its already January 2, 2012 so its time to ink them and get started. Here are my three words for 2012 and what they mean to me.
GRATITUDE
I believe this one needs a permanent spot in every year, every day, every second. I can see the future of this exercise becoming “Three Words + Gratitude”. Keeping and expressing gratitude for all the resources, people, and experiences I have, am, and will be blessed with is simply the cornerstone of maintaining balance and happiness. It is ironically overlooked when it is needed most – when challenges arise. I look to meditate on all I have to be grateful for, every time life’s challenges try to bring me down.
I do, however, personally believe that some can mistake a lack of complacence for a lack of gratitude.
- I can be grateful for my health and still strive to improve my body and strength.
- I can be grateful for my career and the means it provides while still working to build additional and new resources to allow me to better serve, provide and support as many as possible.
- I am forever grateful but never complacent.
GRATITUDE is my first word for 2012 and every year hereafter.
FLOW
I find it interesting that I basically “flowed” into this word as a focus for 2012 over the course of 2011 and my work on JTC. It is not in my nature to just flow very well. I tend to heavily plan, heavily analyze and look to control every next step of life just as I manage projects and business in my career. The original plan for the use of convergence targets was very rigid with heavy expectations, strict milestones, and very discreet deliverable’s. Once I surrendered to the natural flow of things and let go of the rigid expectations my traction and progress increased exponentially.
Life is far more complex than a series of tasks and goals. It is magically filled with energies flowing through all of humanity and nature. Although I will continue to set goals and focus my energy towards the areas I see in the most need through the convergence target I will also surrender to the natural flow to guide me down the right paths toward achieving those goals.
SHARE
This was one of my 2011 words and it has many elements to me that need a bit of my energy. Its not just the standard sharing of thoughts, knowledge and resources but also an overall sharing of self.
- Reaching out to others to share in my goals and projects vs. always trying to do it on my own.
- Sharing my fears and dreams in a more open way with those I love and trust.
- Speak more both to those already in my life as well as to complete strangers.
- Strengthen my personal and professional network by reaching out for advice and providing the same when asked.
- Sharing my journey by asking more to join me.
SHARE is one of my three words again this year.
GRATITUDE – FLOW – SHARE are my words for 2012. What are yours?
Health, Happiness, and Prosperity to you and yours in 2012!
Loose Ends
Just like the barbs on rose bushes growing along our path of life.
Loose Ends nick and nip us attempting to break our resolve and purpose.
We can see the artistry of the blooms just past the bramble if only we could seize them.
Loose Ends pierce and slash us attempting to convince us that the path is impassable.
We afflict ourselves with wounds and malady from the mere stings and twinges caused by the thistle.
We need only prune back the nettle through steadfast action and clear perspective to open the path of our journey siezing the fragrant blossoms that are ours for the taking.
What loose ends do you need to prune back today? They need not be cleared but do need controlled to open your path.
Dream or Nightmare?
What are your wishes when you go to bed each evening? Do you hope to wake from the nightmare you know as reality or do you pray that your current reality is not just a wonderful dream coming to end? Is it possible that you have complete control to manifest either scenerio?
You Are the Master of Your Dreams!
It is all just a dream (or nightmare) manifested by our own actions, thoughts and perspective. The key is to either make the changes in our actions, thoughts and perspective needed to end the nightmare or be happy, grateful, and resolved to maintain the wonderful dream we have manifested. More than likely there is a little bit of both going on in your reality. Some seemingly nightmarish while other aspects of your reality are wonderfully dream like. Regardless of which side of the sprectrum your current reality seems to be weighted give this a try in order to identify both what needs your change energy and what needs your gratitude.
- Lets start with gratitude: Make a list of all those wonderful dream aspects of your reality.
- Soak in the way each one makes you feel as you write it down.
- Savor the emotions each one invokes in you.
- Consider what actions and thoughts you may be using to manifest and maintain these wonderful aspects of your reality.
- Now consider what needs changed: Make a list of all those nightmare aspects of your reality.
- Consider what actions and thoughts you may be using to manifest and perpetuate these nightmarish aspects of your reality.
- What can you change either physically or mentally to eliminate or change these aspects? Write that down as well.
- Do any of them possibly just need an adjustment to your perspective?
- Now Weave the Dream!: Time to use these lists to build the reality you desire. Get a fresh sheet of paper or a crisp new page in your journal.
- Start the page by writing: “I am so happy and grateful now that…”
- Next you are going to start rewriting every item from both lists but writing them in the context of how you desire them to be in your reality.
- You may write the items from your wonderful dream list exactly as you had initially wrote them or possibly, even though you are grateful for that current aspect you would also like to grow and improve it. Maybe you are fortunate enough in this tough economy to have a good paying job but you don’t actually enjoy what you do.
- Your initial “gratitude” list may have said “I have a good paying job with good benefits.”
- Your new “Dream Weaving” list may say “I can financially support myself and my family doing what I love.”
- Steer clear of too much detail such as amounts or specific individuals. The amounts you define for financial support may very well be inflated based on a perspective that may need changed. Focus on the desired results and feelings you are looking for and surrender to the universe (or God of your understanding) and your own creative force to fill in the details as the desired result is manifested.
- You are going to write the items from your “nightmare” list as if you have completely changed them into the positive aspects you want in your life. What would that nightmare aspect look like if it were a wonderful dream? Using the same example of financial stability maybe you are unemployed and struggling financially.
- Your initial “nightmare” list may have said: “I can’t find a job or pay the bills”
- Your new “Dream Weaving” list may say: “I can financially support myself and my family doing what I love”
- Make sure every item from both lists are added to your “Dream Weaving” list. This new list depicts the reality you want to manifest.
Read your list everyday ensuring you start with “I am so happy and grateful now that…” Visualize the mirth each aspect brings you. Laugh out loud or sigh in content as you revel in the joy each of these aspects invoke in you. Don’t doubt any of the aspects that have not YET been manifested into your reality. Focus your change energy on those aspects in need and your gratitude on those aspects that have materialized.
You have to Weave The Dream before you can wear it! Before you can live it!
What are your dreams and nightmares? What are you doing to manifest the reality you desire?
THE FIRST SNOWFALL
Barely a dusting and nearly melted already but it invoked a great deal of thought around perspective and the lenses through which we view the world and life’s challenges.
Just by changing the lens through which we view each experience something as simple as a light snowfall can invoke…
Visions of Snowblowers and Ice Scrapers OR Snow Angels and Sledding Hills
Smells of Gasoline and Salt OR Hot Chocolate and Cinnamon
Sounds of Horns and Crashes OR Childrens Laughter and Holiday Music
The Feel of Bitter Cold Wind on your skin OR Newly Fallen Snowflakes on your tongue
Carefully choose your lens.
What do you see, smell, hear and feel through your lenses today?